March 2024

Researchers studied how long children can stand quietly still. On average, one minute. However, if you invite children to pretend they are soldiers on guard, that time increases to 11 minutes! That's the power of having a "why"—a purpose—which strengthens our resolve and keeps us moving forward. It informs our priorities and habits—which shape our future selves.

In this third month, we're moving closer to understanding purpose by exploring our past experiences. Now, they're tweens and young teens; realistically, the boys aren't going to leave the night having their purpose nailed down. The goal, to use old English slang, is for the boys to experience "coddiwomple"—to travel purposefully toward an unknown destination. They'll still have much to discover about themselves and their purpose, but hopefully, this experience helps them be a little more purpose-minded as they navigate life with its twists and turns rivaling that of the Road to Hana.

Here's what the boys can expect on Monday, March 4th:

5:00pm - 5:44pm: Physical activity.

Again, this is an essential part of EQUIP BOYS because play is fun and "energizes us and enlivens us. It eases our burdens. It renews our natural sense of optimism and opens us up to new possibilities." [1] Play also allows boys to be less guarded and open to examining themselves.

5:45pm - 5:59pm. Mealtime and table talk.

6:00pm - 6:19pm. Charades.

Again, utilizing play to emphasize the main point. For example, pantomiming big claws and a roar may help a team identify the player as a bear. Similarly, our past experiences help us interpret our motivations and desires. I can trace my love for going to the movies to my grandpa. He'd swing by nearly every week, and we'd grab a bite to eat, then grab snacks and a flick at the local theatre. Now, movies frequently serve as the context for my teaching and mentoring.

Of course, negative and neutral experiences inform our future, too. It's common for our suffering and hardship to spur the desire to break cycles and fix systems. (E.g., the car wreck that inspires a boy to become a firefighter.)

6:20pm - 6:24pm: Review core values.

6:25pm - 6:29pm: Review strengths.

6:30pm - 6:34pm: Identity negative/neutral experiences.

6:35pm - 6:39pm: Identify positive experiences.

The boys will write these experiences on a colored Post-It note. Something like "Movies with grandpa."

6:40pm - 6:54pm: The Timeline.

The boys will take the Post-It notes and place them along a timeline. Next, the boys will have time to step back and see what they can discern from the experiences. Again, realistically, none of them are leaving with anything other than a coddiwomple, and that's okay!

6:55pm - 7:00pm: Debrief and clean-up.

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PS. Thank you to those of you who completed the survey on purpose. I look forward to incorporating your insights into the evening. And I guess it's only fair that I share mine: My purpose is to help others become the best version of themselves.

Before you go: I just started reading Arthur: The Dog Who Crossed the Jungle to Find a Home. It's the true story that inspired the upcoming movie Arthur the King. I'm only a chapter in, and it's hitting so much of what we're discussing in EQUIP BOYS. It might be an excellent book for your boy to read—followed by an EQUIP BOYS movie night.

*click the book title and/or movie title to learn more.

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Citations

1. Brown M.D., Stuart; Vaughan, Christopher. Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul (p. 4). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.