WHAT BABIES TEACH US ABOUT RESPONDING TO TRAGEDY 

Experts believe 9-year-olds are now exposed to things—sex/sexuality, violence, etc.—that we as adults weren't exposed to until age 19. While we may have been teenagers, our brains had a higher capacity (than a 9-year-old's) to process these images and experiences emotionally.

Before you lock your child in the closet beneath the stairs and snatch their phone away, hear me out: technology is inescapable. They will be exposed to less-than-desired media and tragedies beyond your parental comfort zone. 

When I was training to become a high school swim coach, part of my instructing certification required that I "teach" babies to swim. As crazy as it sounds, young babies can actually be taught to roll themselves over from a face-down position if they accidentally fall into the water. Part of the process incorporates submerging the baby. This creates a possible distressing situation for the baby, but it's primarily dependant on the adult—if the adult is nervous and scared, so is the baby. If the adult is confident and secure, so is the baby. Babies may not be able to talk, but they do sense and respond to the adult's emotional state.

Following the recent national tragedies, I'm witnessing primarily two emotional responses from adults: fear and demand for action. While each has their place, they are no longer the exclusive thoughts of adults. They have invaded our child's innocence and forced discussion and processing years ahead of schedule. Like a baby in the water, your child is taking their cues from you—the adult. Here are three things to "talk it over" with your child this week:

1. Students are asking, "Do thoughts and prayers work?" They are constantly bombarded with the message that there is no power in prayer. Powerful and influential people are, I don't believe maliciously, sharing this sentiment. Add violent images, and it's tempting for a young child to lose hope. Now is an opportune moment to teach about prayer and share experiences when God intervened in your life as a parent. Make prayer personal.
2. Students want to act. It's a natural and healthy response to gravitate toward action. It's empowering to contribute to a solution. As adults, we must be self-aware of our own biases and careful not to shut down their creativity, even if we believe their ideas are misinformed. Before discussing how to respond, I would encourage you to model Biblical mourning. Science proves that very rarely are the first ideas the best ones. Mourning humbles us before God; it gives time for our emotional state to accept reality and provides time for God to inspire our thoughts. Mourning comes before solutions.
3. Students fear because you fear. Like the baby above, students are taking their emotional and social cues from us as adults. God continually reminds us not to worry—to find peace in trusting him. As tempting as it may be to shield your child from tragedy, the opportunity exists to share personal fears and then go to Scripture together openly. Then live it out. Be observant and smart, yes. But do not fear public places. Confidently walk in the Lord.

Scripture to Consider:

I leave the gift of peace with you—my peace. Not the kind of fragile peace given by the world, but my perfect peace. Don’t yield to fear or be troubled in your hearts—instead, be courageous! (John 14:27 TPT).

Listen to my testimony: I cried to God in my distress and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears! (Psalms 34:4 TPT).

The Lord is my revelation-light to guide me along the way; he’s the source of my salvation to defend me every day. I fear no one! I’ll never turn back and run from you, Lord; surround and protect me (Psalms 27:1 TPT).

Why would anyone harm you if you’re passionate and devoted to pleasing God? But even if you happen to suffer for doing what is right, you will have the joyful experience of the blessing of God. And Don’t be intimidated or terrified by those who would terrify you (1 Peter 3:13-14).

Gather your family and pray together for the vicitims' and thier families, the first reponders, and those struggling with fear.