HOW TEENS WIN | Chapter 13

(AI-assisted) Summary for Parents: In Chapter 13, Jon Acuff encourages young teens to pursue “middle” goals—objectives that take about three months to complete. These kinds of goals are just long enough to challenge them, but short enough to keep them motivated. The focus isn’t on being perfect; it’s on being consistent. That’s where real growth happens. Whether it’s learning a new skill, building better habits, or sticking with a school project, showing up again and again—even after setbacks—is what helps teens build resilience.

 

Resilience, Acuff notes, is one of the most important life skills a teen can develop. It’s not about avoiding failure but learning to keep going in the face of it. That’s what prepares them for the ups and downs of adulthood. This chapter offers the encouragement to help your son name and pursue a middle goal of their own.

 

The next step? The boys learning how to ask for help. Hopefully, the following questions help you guide them through how to reach out to trusted adults—like you, teachers, or mentors—to support their efforts. It’s a powerful move toward maturity.

Talk It Over Questions

In your own words, convey that because you love them, you want to help them find meaning, significance, and direction in life. That the world needs men who are respectable, caring, fair, responsible, trustworthy, and good stewards of their resources.

We have read chapters 13.

Here are five engaging and thought-provoking questions to help the boys reflect on resiliency and the courage it takes to ask for help:

 

What’s something you’ve started that got tough in the middle? What did you do—keep going, stop, or ask for help? (This helps them recognize past resilience—or opportunities for it.)

What do you think is harder: starting something new, or sticking with it when it’s no longer exciting? Why? (Opens a conversation on consistency vs. motivation.)

List a few people you trust that you could go to for help if you hit a wall with a goal? (Prompts them to identify safe adults or peers.)

Why do you think people hesitate to ask for help—even when they really need it? (Helps normalize the struggle and reduce shame.)

If asking for help is a strength, not a weakness, what’s one way you can practice that this week? (Gives them an actionable next step.)